For the love of all things holy, please stop drinking green beer. There is a world of better options to celebrate the glory of St. Patrick’s day. In all honesty, I can’t tell you that I’ve never partaken – such events are forever ingrained in my psyche. For this reason, I am taking it upon myself to be the voice of reason to anyone who thinks such abominations are a fun idea and save you from a “50 shades of green” hangover.
Weeks before my annual St Paddy’s house party, I challenge myself to find and feature a new, awesome, themed cocktail. Friends are left guessing right up until they walk through the front door. Whatever drink it may be, it will always be ridiculously suited to the occasion. One year, I served Bailey’s Irish mint chocolate cream milkshakes with mint Oreo cookie topper. Another year, green melon martini’s with smoked melon skewers.
Unfortunately, this year the party is cancelled (thanks Covid). Since the luck of the Irish is not on my side and our 2021 jam is going to be bubble-sized, I am going all out with a jaw-dropping, drinks-like-a-meal, only-need-one (okay, maybe two) kinda bevy. It’s going to be big, boozy and better for a small crowd.
THIS is what I’m talking about…
ALL HAIL! GREEN MONSTER BLOODY MARY! (New name suggestion below)
Can we just pause for a moment to give credit where credit is due: Honestly Yum blog. I freaking LOVE this blog. You rocked this bad boy back in 2016! I’m sure I would have been too intimidated to take this on for a crowd, so it’s fitting that I’ve discovered it now. Not to mention, we feast hard at my events and I wouldn’t want guests drinking themselves full. That’s why I’m 100% down with making this for St. Patrick’s day – covid edition. Let’s call it “lunch” before the ultimate Kiss the Cook St. Patrick’s day feast dinner. Who’s with me?!
I may do a few mods to the recipe, but I think that’s the beauty of designing your own Bloody Mary, especially of such epic proportions. You can go crazy with all the garnishes and make it your own. I’ll also be renaming my version of this drink the “Insane in the Membrane” as I am totally going to be listening to House of Pain while taking my first sips / bites.
Let’s go shopping.
Green Monster Bloody Mary
Recipe by: Honestly Yum Blog
- 2 oz vodka (or green chile vodka if you’ve got it)
- 4-5 oz green monster mix
- crushed chicharrones + Tajín (to coat the rim)
- crispy tacos
- elote (Mexican street corn)
- grilled shrimp
- lime wedges
- pickled guerito peppers
- pickled jalapeños
- pickled carrots
- pickled onions
Green Monster Mix
- 2 medium (or 3 small) tomatillos (poached and chopped)
- 3 sprigs cilantro (chopped)
- 1/2 cup cucumber (peeled and chopped )
- 2 teaspoons serrano peppers (seeded and diced)
- 1/4 cup poblano peppers (diced and roasted )
- 1/4 cup green bell peppers (diced)
- 1/4 cup celery
- pinch coriander
- pinch cumin
- pinch black pepper
- pinch celery salt
- 1 oz lime juice
- 1 1/2 oz orange juice
- 5 dashes green Tobasco sauce
- 1/4 cup water
Green Monster Mix
- Add all the ingredients to a blender and puree until very smooth. Transfer to a storage container, cover, and keep in the refrigerator overnight before serving. Refrigerating overnight is not required, but helps the flavors meld.
- Start by rimming your glass with a mix of crushed chicharrones mixed with Tajín chili powder.
- Add ice to your glass, then add vodka, and top with the green monster mix (approx. 4-5 oz).
- Garnish with crispy tacos, elote (Mexican street corn), chicharrones, grilled shrimp, avocado, lime wedges, celery, cilantro, pickled guerito pepper, pickled jalapeños, pickled carrots, pickled onions. All optional, but highly suggested!
Now for anyone out there (chef or otherwise) that might be wincing at the thought of this wild, green concoction – you can always resort to green beer. I guess that’s the thing about St. Patrick’s day, as long as you’re laughing, cheering, feeling great and loving life – party on.
One lesson I’ve learned this past year, is to find the silver lining (or pot of gold in this case), in the most unexpected and challenging times. As long as we have our health, treat each other with kindness, compassion and love, then we are as lucky as a leprechaun.
In closing, I have one wish for you and it’s best said in an Irish Proverb:
“May your troubles be less, and your blessings be more. And nothing but happiness come through your door”.
Place your St. Patrick’s Day order online of feel free to contact us for assistance.
Fia Pagnello, CEO
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